There is so much I want to say about the last 24 hours but it’s so late, I’ll try and get to most of it. Last night I cried myself to sleep…for no apparent reason. I didn’t feel sad, or overjoyed, I just felt like crying. Every time I tried to figure out why I was crying it brought on a new wave of tears. It felt like I was crying for every time that I’ve wanted to cry and wasn’t able to. I have no answer as to where it was coming from but I’ve always felt like tears were very cleansing and I feel strangely grateful.
Today I tried to do a day without fruit juice. When I did short fasts in the past few years (3-10 days) I always did them on vegetable juice alone. I never had any momentous experiences or felt any different during or after the fasts. This was also during the few years when I’d cut sugar almost completely from my diet. I never realized how terribly restrictive that felt until I introduced fruit back into my life. I love fruit. I thrive on fruit. I love living on mostly fruit! I don’t know if this would have been the case if I hadn’t gone through several years of intense yeast/candida type cleansing but once I brought it back into my life there was no going back. After the last juice feast I made an effort to go on an extremely low sugar lifestyle and it brought me back to the tight, restrictive, diet-y, emotional place that I thought I’d left behind. It really threw me off and I had such a hard time getting back to a place of feeling really good and balanced again. That being said, I attempted a day of all veggie juices (just to see what the experience would be like) last month and as soon as I woke up that day all of those awful feelings came rushing back and I couldn’t do it. Today I made it ’til evening and after nearly gagging on my last juice, gave in and juiced some tangelos. Fruit makes me feel alive. Am I addicted to it? I don’t think so. That feels like saying I’m addicted to air or water or life. I feel so light and free on fruit sugar. I know that’s not everyones experience but it is currently mine.
On the positive side of the veggie spectrum, I got a sprouting tray today! I’m thrilled to begin sprouting and juicing my own wheatgrass!
It was a rough day. Emotional. Crave-y. Cooking and being around food was challenging. I realized that sometimes I try too hard. I have such a to-do list in my brain of things that I think are really important to get done in a day (journal, yoga, meditate, get some sunshine, hot/cold shower, body brush, colon cleanse, read great books, oh yeah and go to work, make sure my juices are made, and sleep 8-9 hours) and sometimes I find myself doing this things just for the sake of doing them when what I really need is to tune into my body and figure out what it wants. Today it wanted to lie in bed and read. I did as much of that as I could and tried to let go of the mind chatter telling me I wasn’t being “productive enough”.
Britney and I went out to dinner at the only place we can enjoy together. I got carrot juice and some tea and she enjoyed a smorgasbord of vegan goodness:
The recipe of the day really hits the spot for savory cravings. Salty, creamy, and spicy, even if I won’t give up fruit sugar I’ll definitely be doing this one again!
Spiced Cream of Celery Juice
1 bunch celery
1 lemon, peeled
1 jalapeño, with or without seeds
4 green onions
4 drops DoTERRA cilantro essential oil (optional)
Today’s Juice Feast: 34 oz Spicy Cream of Celery Juice, 3 oz wheatgrass, 32 oz Carrot Comfort Juice (recipe to come), 36 oz The Real V8 Juice, 32 oz jicama/dill/lime/jalapeño, 16 oz carrot juice with cinnamon, 16 oz tangelo juice with cayenne, 32 oz tangelo juice blended with dates and strained.